Uninstalled permanently.
Hello forum, goodbye Acronis.
Once upon a time I bought a backup product that grew legs. When I shut off all its active protection features, the Cyber Protect service would still show up in task manager as a very high power consumer during any disk-intensive activity.
Seemingly unrelated, my PC would stall for 10-15 seconds any time it had either been idle or several minutes since any major disk access. I assumed thermal issue and replaced the SSD.
Seemingly unrelated, DaVinci Resolve took 5-7 minutes to show the splash screen. I assumed corruption and uninstalled and reinstalled.
When all the games continued, my searching brought me to a post at Blackmagic with the same DaVinci Resolve symptoms and a confirmed claim that uninstalling one of the security products on the poster's system restored the normal speed of 2-3 seconds before Resolve shows its splash.
So the first thing I did was research what I'm going to use for backup once I uninstall. I've found a product and I'm happy with it.
That led to uninstalling this fornicating piece of defecation and rebooting.
Victory. Roll credits.

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